I knew nothing to indite
Pen moist between my fingers
I inscribed on my left palm
L. O. V. E
Each letters took me into a transition
And set before me was a partition
I struggled from wall to wall
In a battle beyond imagination
I must fight to win
Building muscles as a man
Transforming my mind to a chest
Heavily fortified
From head to toe
With helmet of heaviness
The breastplate of betrayal
My loins girt about with grief
My feet shod with fury
Wholly armored for war
Alongside my sword of sadness
Were extra rifles of revenge
The tongue of my pumping heart
Tasted like vinegar
And I felt each armour
Like hundreds of needles
Stuck to a flesh wound
Heart beating faster and louder
Like throng of soldiers
Marching to war
Then fainting and fading
Into whispers–
“you can’t win like this”
I heard another
Like a barking dog;
“you’re a looser… a weakling,
Not worthy of love”
Bow down looser!
I shut them down
For in this war
I need no distractions
Just more heavy machineries
To breakdown bridges
To bring down the gates
And crush stones to dusts
But the tongue of my pumping heart
Tasted like vinegar
And I felt each armour
Like hundreds of needles
Stuck to a flesh wound.
“Retrace your steps
Back to starting over
You can’t break these walls
By strength
It’s not every time you
Win by war
So drop your weapons–
The familiar whisper echoed in me again”
The pain was hard
Tears should drop
My eyes has seen
They’ve become so weary–
I thought dryly…
These walls must fall!!!
And I heard the voice again;
“Then drop your weapons
And let them go
Let go of what would have been “
In my absent-mindedness
The sword I shielded myself against
Pierced me down
I sighed in pain
As the memories kept flowing like an ocean
And passes through my tear ducts
Back into my sclera
The thoughts in my heart
Had gone deep as the blue sea
A blue that turns red
From the evening sky
Hot headed and cold feet
As I went down
With karma by my side
My weapons were on duty in me
Like hundreds of needles
Stuck to a flesh wound
My betrayed inner figure
Was called by the whisperer;
“Free yourself
Let go of you”
And she ran from me–
Ran from this cold blooded body–
She ran round the thick walls
Of ancient memories–
And the voice whispered to me;
“See how you win the war
In your letting go
Of pain and betrayal”
In fear I felt my breathe
Going still
I held my chest and tasted
My bleeding lips
Then coughed out in the voice
Of the one that whispered.
“Only in your letting go
Your Jericho will fall down flat”
In front of me
I heard a familiar voice;
Let us go!!!
Where is your mind?
They all sounded in me
Like an incantation done
In our “very large devious night”
Your eyes are so red!
And why are you holding your pen
As if you want to break it?
Then I saw my inner figure returned
From a victory my mind
Was not part of
And she bend to see my wounds
As I bend to see my sweaty palm
And the paper before me
As she said to me;
You can love again…
Your Jericho can fall down flat”
She picked me up from the battlefield
To a realm like reality
I heard the voice again;
“Let it go…
Lest the pain persists”
I held my chest in pain
And my tongue tasted like blood
It was real!
Or is it becoming real?
I imagined in confusion
As I saw me down
Flat as my Jericho
Could this be real?
How fainting was my thought
As I stood with the others
Gazing pathetically at the floor
Where I fell and faded…
